Asian Girl Problem #135: Boys & Dads

This one goes out to M, whom some would call my “ex boyfriend” but always and forever a friend–a label that transcends time and change. And I know he be lurkin’ my blog.

I think one of the reasons two people like ourselves who are quite awful at traditional dating made it work is because we respected our friendship. Even when we were knee-deep in crap and crying to Alanis Morissette, we always knew our compatibility and love for each other as an individuals would be there, preserved, when we were ready.

Some people tell me it’s not common to be able to talk about new loves, sex, and the past with an ex without the slightest emotional baggage. Totally true, which is why I don’t often meet people I want to date. I don’t feel any pressure or self-righteousness in staying friends, but it’s just easy. Which I suppose is the case for every good relationship.

Anyways, this isn’t called Asian Girl Cupcaking. Today I remembered this time when we were dating when I had a really disappointed face on and M good-naturedly said he could imagine exactly what my dad looked like when I came home from school as a kid with an A-. And that that would also be the same face my dad would have if and when they DID meet (spoiler: they didn’t) and he discovered I was not dating a Chinese medical professional.

 

My dad dated one person in his life, ever. Doing more would’ve gotten in the way of his focus on his PhD so yeah he’s a real romantic. Never having introduced him to a boy, I don’t know how he would’ve acted if he met M–white, bearded, towering 10 inches above him. Would he crack the dad jokes I could barely understand under his thick accent, as he did with my girl friends, or would he have become a dad I’ve never seen, the dad of TV shows, who sits at the head of the table and grills the guy about his future goals and family history?

I hope I find out one day. I hope I get to introduce my parents to at least one Asian guy and one non-Asian guy at some point, just so I can compare their behaviors in a future post. Also for a future post: I’ve never seen him kiss my mom on the mouth, not even a peck, which I hear from friends is typical in Chinese families. Confucian propriety? Loveless marriage? Extreme hygiene?

 

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