It’s about time! Remember when I used to have a bullshit job where I got paid to eat snacks, surf the www waves and blog? Now I have work that actually does the definition of the word justice, and I can’t bear using any free time to come here and check in. It’s dumb.
I’m still getting hundreds of visitors on this blog every day, thanks to that website’s mention of my article about nose straightening/narrowing, and desperate requests to share where one can find such an apparatus. Not the point, but it does give me more motivation to fuel this blog with a steadier flow of posts.
Well I’m back to continue the endless interracial dating conversation. The White male/Asian female thing that I see every day and am guilty of perpetuating. I’m not trying to change who people find attractive–I just want them admit it, understand how it makes half (according to my surveys) the population uncomfortable/upset, and attempt to analyze it deeper. Out of genuine interest or respect or whatever. If your preferences and actions represent a larger trend that upsets the objects of your affection, you should at least also put yourself in a difficult and awkward place, out of solidarity.
The documentary Seeking Asian Female tackles the problem in all its complexity pretty well
Two relevant experiences from the weekend.
The first was hearing from an Asian girl friend who gave her white guy friends kudos for finding a girlfriend when he taught English in Taiwan. When I expressed my disgust about guys who have an “Asian thing”, she couldn’t relate at all. She skeptically asked if I dated all races, and I had to again face my guilt of never having had a true relationship with an Asian guy. A guilt that hits particularly hard at the moment, when I’m casually getting to know a Chinese guy who has every. single. quality. I would like in a boyfriend. (e.g. He has a badass creative job, amazing style, physically hot, a good combo of dorky/sweet/edgy, knows Chinese, great at banter, is self-aware but not jaded, and denounces gender roles) But why am I not excited to see him each time, or eager to jump his bones? Ugh, shelving this stressful topic for now.
Speaking to a close friend (okay, a friend with benefits) with a self-diagnosed “Asian thing” who’s trying very hard to fight it by dating all kinds of women, I heard a new theory I haven’t considered before–that maybe he has the preference because he has grown up so inundated with white beauty, and has no gauge for beauty when it comes to other races. (Of course we know that Asians set their standards of beauty to the Western world, but let’s just consider the standards that are more dialed into commonly-occurring Asian features.) So basically, he thinks he’s less discerning about what makes an Asian-looking person beautiful, so can more easily find them attractive. Put in the most offensive terms, the theory means that we get a handicap for looks.
I have no opinion on this, for once. Having grown up seeing and being told about the subtleties of physical Asian beauty and White beauty, I can’t draw from personal experience. I have my own preferences, based on a mystery cocktail of looks and style and poise and element X. Plus, I was taught to worship young Aryan-looking guys way more than anyone else, so it kind of makes sense if my gut and vagina respond more positively more immediately to them.
What do you think?