Asian Girl Problem #119: A Special Kind of Privilege

Someone wrote one of those daily “curated content” posts on a website about the nose straightener I wrote about here and I’ve been getting thousands of visitors since then. If that be my claim to fame, I’d have no problem with it, but they actually cite me saying that it the contraption works. Actually, I said that years of pinching my nose per my dad’s advice has made it thinner.

But I don’t care. Welcome, thousands of nose-curious people. Let’s talk about how we can be profoundly unhappy with our bodies and still make daily strides towards acceptance. How we can be strong bitches and still fall for such ridiculous promises of perfection. And all the nuances in between.

For example, yesterday I went to see one of my best friends perform in a very intimate version of the Vagina Monologues. It was my first time seeing the show live, and her first time performing (I think). I suffused me with girl power and I later followed it up with a lovely dinner or donuts with another girlfriend. Wherein we talked about racial divides in formerly colonized countries like Singapore, the term “cultural fit” per my previous post, and a lovely quote from Lena Dunham’s book about gender identity*.

After a lovely, empowering night, I went home and went to bed (still fighting this virus). Got up, ate a balanced breakfast, looked in the mirror, and felt disgusted at myself. Suddenly, it was yoga in my underwear, forcing myself to look at all the rolls of fat, and a three-mile run while I was still sick and barely able to open my eyes. What a stupid beastly battle that rears its head when I least expect it.

I admit, the exercise made me feel better mentally–which is why I do it (for better or worse). I then put on a really good outfit and makeup, which is my cure-all antidote for days like this. Now I will go and have a lovely Saturday with my boyfriend and beautiful Asian girlfriends. Comforted by the knowledge there is no rhyme or reason with feelings–they do not define me, I just have to deal.

Any because I’m bad at finding photos to accompany these heady posts, here are scenes from my phone:

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Fab food with fab women

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*One of my favorite paragraphs from the all-around hit or miss book. “It is a special kind of privilege to be born into the body you wanted, to embrace the essence of your gender even as you recognize what you are up against. Even as you seek to redefine it.”

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Ai Wei Wei x Alcatraz. A fascinating tour with a friend I haven’t seen in ages

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One thought on “Asian Girl Problem #119: A Special Kind of Privilege

  1. Pingback: Asian Girl Problem #126: More Research and Rationalization Of Yellow Fever | Asian Girl Probs

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