Asian Girl Problem #98: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

My grandparents need to go to my aunt’s house in Santa Barbara to get their green card applications in order, and since my mom has a fear of freeways and my dad’s on another business trip, I drove us all down to meet my aunt halfway. We had lunch in silence, in the only Chinese restaurant in this one-horse town off the 101. No one had an argument, panic attack or peed their pants, so I was quite proud of all parties.

I was prepared for a three hour interrogation on my dating life during the drive back with my mom. Starting with the same roundabout, awkward questions I’ve been dodging from my dad lately:

“Where did you hang out this weekend? See anyone I know? How’s everything else in your life, besides work? Are you happy?”

“San Francisco. Friends. Good. Yes.” I refuse to volunteer information unless he shows that he’s ready to accept them, aka ask the real questions.

But since I have no issues with sharing real answers here, I hung out in cute cafes, other people’s beds, and the cliffs of San Francisco. Also the dynamics between me and “poly” guy is still ever-evolving and keeping me on my toes, thus a little insane. Also there is one other guy I’m planning to continue seeing, but damn my luck, he’s poly too. Also all my STI tests came back negative!

I can just imagine my dad going out and getting himself a “Proud Papa” mug after that heart to heart.

But mom ended up surprising me on the drive, in more ways than one. First, with her initiation. “Totally casual question I won’t tell anyone else, but how is your 2014 goal to find a boyfriend?” Smooth.

She was also much more realistic and rational than I remembered her to be. We passionately agreed that dating for millennials is a cosmic joke, and that marriage and kids is no longer the end-all be-all. She basically stopped short of saying I should just go spread my seed and enjoy the journey of dating as long as I’m young. (Okay, so maybe I was insinuating that, but when I did she didn’t have a heart attack or jump out the window.)

Very possible explanation for my mom’s transition from drill sergeant to Jeff Spicoli.


One thought on “Asian Girl Problem #98: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

  1. Pingback: Asian Girl Problem #132: Undermothered | Asian Girl Probs

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