I love my maternal grandparents out of obligation, and my paternal grandparents because they are badass motherfuckers who inspire me every day. Since the former moved to my parents’ house from China, I’ve only spent a couple hours with them. Thoughts so far:
1. My grandma saw some punks on the street in Berkeley, and went on forever about how weird it was that women in America smoke. Turns out the woman was actually a guy with long hair. Plot twist.
2. I know more about my grandpa’s bowel movements than anything else about him.
3. Sometimes when my grandparents link arms with me so I can help them walk, they hang with such ferocity that it feels like they are getting sucked into quicksand and want to take me down with them. I know they aren’t trying to hold me back, but I can’t help but feel like they are.
4. My mom doesn’t talk anymore–everything is a scream.
5. The first thing my grandparents did when they saw me was give me $1000 and apologize for not being able to spare more.
6. They think I am gifted because I know how to drive, pay my bills online, and use a smartphone.