My friend got an OKC message that makes me burst into laughter whenever I think about it, because the only other option would be to cry.
“I am of Asian descent, but do not be alarmed.” Shot in foot successful. Half of me wants to help the guy, should I ever meet him, and the other half wants to run in the other direction. Which is probably why in dating, the sexy get sexier and the losers get more lost.
Despite my complaints, I love the idea of interracial dating. Same-race hetero couples might go under my radar, but I always notice interracial (and queer*) couples, and they make me happy about where things are heading.
But to date an Asian guy is almost more revolutionary, after growing up in area of only white and black people and now living in a city with somewhat of a “White male seeking Asian female” reputation. Asian guys are up against some dismal stereotypes, many culturally-ingrained and requiring constant dedication to override. Some get jacked, some take swag classes, some lead with their money, some do none of these things…The ones I know who have their “masculine” energy on lock are often taken, by girls of all colors.
How can one not be more sympathetic to Asian males’ attempts at dominance? Because whether consciously done or not, they’re active “fuck you”s to the status quo. I know race is just one factor of a person’s identity, but you’d think that as we second and third generation immigrants are reaching adulthood, wielding more cultural, financial and political power, the numbers would budge more when it comes to dating. Alas, sexual power is the last and ever-distant frontier.
*I wish I could offer some perspectives from non-hetero relationships, and I might try in a later post. Also, this post took me days of stewing and rewriting because it’s been impossible to organize all the conflicting thoughts I have on the matter. Indicative.