Asian Girl Problem #86: Plight of the Asian Dude

My friend got an OKC message that makes me burst into laughter whenever I think about it, because the only other option would be to cry.

“I am of Asian descent, but do not be alarmed.” Shot in foot successful. Half of me wants to help the guy, should I ever meet him, and the other half wants to run in the other direction. Which is probably why in dating, the sexy get sexier and the losers get more lost.

Despite my complaints, I love the idea of interracial dating. Same-race hetero couples might go under my radar, but I always notice interracial (and queer*) couples, and they make me happy about where things are heading.

But to date an Asian guy is almost more revolutionary, after growing up in area of only white and black people and now living in a city with somewhat of a “White male seeking Asian female” reputation. Asian guys are up against some dismal stereotypes, many culturally-ingrained and requiring constant dedication to override. Some get jacked, some take swag classes, some lead with their money, some do none of these things…The ones I know who have their “masculine” energy on lock are often taken, by girls of all colors.

How can one not be more sympathetic to Asian males’ attempts at dominance? Because whether consciously done or not, they’re active “fuck you”s to the status quo. I know race is just one factor of a person’s identity, but you’d think that as we second and third generation immigrants are reaching adulthood, wielding more cultural, financial and political power,  the numbers would budge more when it comes to dating. Alas, sexual power is the last and ever-distant frontier.

*I wish I could offer some perspectives from non-hetero relationships, and I might try in a later post. Also, this post took me days of stewing and rewriting because it’s been impossible to organize all the conflicting thoughts I have on the matter. Indicative.


2 thoughts on “Asian Girl Problem #86: Plight of the Asian Dude

  1. oh my god that line!!! it’s simultaneously hilarious and sad and true. it took me a while to feel sympathetic towards Asian guys- maybe it’s ’cause I feel like none of them would ever be interested in me because I’m not the perfect media Asian girl? anyway, it’s true Asian dudes get the short end of the stick too. (that music video is super cute btw.) I was bringing up with a co-worker how jet li never got the girl in romeo must die the other day!! (ok obviously not completely the bottom line on the asian man problem, but you get it.)

    have you read eleanor & park yet? it’s a ya book that’s gotten lots of publicity in part because it’s a frequently challenged book in schools and libraries. it’s also a book where one of the main characters is korean-american. I got it on hold so I can’t review it quite yet..

    your post made me think of these book lists by this tumblr I like:
    Books where Asian boys are desirable characters! whoohoo.

    I’m glad you included the problems of Asian men on this blog.. it feels like inclusive feminism working at its best 🙂

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