I saw this line written in this guy’s sketchbook, as an idea for an article he was going to write, but I stole it. He doesn’t own language, and I’m not being fair today.
A couple months ago I started ignoring one of my friends because we hung out and I had a terrible time because he started acting like he wanted to date, which consisted of bossing me around like he was father, making crude jokes, pretending to be drunker than he actually was, and being touchy feely without asking first. But after some time, I forgot exactly why he annoyed me, so when he announced he was moving out of the country forever, I asked him to dinner. We hung out last night and it all came back to me.
Snapping the hair tie around my wrist. Putting his hand on my waist when we’re crossing the street like I can’t freaking avoid a car on my own. Pretending to bump into me when we’re taking a walk. I hate that stuff. If we’re not dating, don’t do it. If you don’t know if we’re dating, ask. If you don’t know how to convey feelings through words and actions and can only rely on body language to show you feel some type of way, I can promise we won’t get along.
I remember learning this kind of thing in first grade. Don’t touch anyone without their permission, your rights end where someone else’s begins, etc…so it amazes me when people don’t take it into adulthood.
I love when a guy opens the door for me. If it’s someone I like, I love when he makes an awkward joke about when we might have a first kiss. Or the anticipation of not crossing each other’s personal spaces yet but knowing we both want to. I we are already dating, I love all the touching in the world. But when I don’t know someone like that, each breach of my bubble makes me more distant.
And the worst time it can happen is when we’re under the public eye, which finally brings me to this post’s title. I can’t help but suspect they are trying to put on a show for someone else. If I had to engineer my biggest social fear, it would include PDA with someone I don’t like. Like I’m a prop for someone to feel like a winner or play out his fantasy of love/lust. Although I’ve been working on separating the two a little bit as I’m dating more, the emotional just has to come before the physical for me to stick around. Not touching me is the fastest way to get me.
I might be totally alone in this, so sound off if you think I should take this less seriously and personally.