so i was looking at the neiman marcus xmas catalogue at work today and it just really confused and overwhelmed me with strange emotions. i think they were emotions that were from the same family of jealousy and disgust and dirtiness and all those other ones people warn you about when you’re a kid. i mean what were the childhoods like of people who want to buy a lifesized lego sculpture of themselves for their husband/wife for the holidays? i’m trying to recall the most frivolous kid from elementary school but i guess i was blessed to come from a place where people ate meat and potatoes every night. although, in middle school we were mixed with some richer people from a really good neighborhood. i guess if they could wear abercrombie and fitch every day and were allowed to buy smelly cologne we considered them kind of well-off. our spanish teacher was supposed to be the most ritzy cultured lady because she maaaybe had been to spain and drove a bmw. but moving to california also apparently also made my parents rich. as usual i dont know where i’m going with this. reading the catalogue makes me feel kind of like going to the mall which i havent done since last winter. oh damn i feel a whiny rant coming on. sorry i sound so cynical but malls just make me feel so bad! i am a cheap person so i never get sucked into any of the sales and i am also too old (and cheap) to let malls make me feel bad about my appearance and i’m also too not trendy (and cheap) to even be tempted by any of the stuff but it still makes me feel foreign and ungrounded. i still get annoyed at the bad overpriced food at malls too. i guess food never fails to move me. at this particular time i wonder who buys from this catalogue and how they fall asleep at night
my chapstick broke and i smeared it on my hands today and it makes for awesome hand cream. sorry if that was disgusting

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