i think i started my period! at the worst time ever. i’m reminded of the lyrics
inky periods drip from your mailbox and blood flies dip and glide reach down inside
but i love the disgustingness of that line. it makes me feel a a little better. is xanga just going to be a chronicle of my cycle now? no, god willing.
i would love to feel like i’m creating something. not like a snippet of a poem or story for class, and i guess not like the berkeley fiction review or poetry anthology i’m involved in this year. maybe if i were to publish something completely accredited to me. or maybe something rooted deeper in a philosophy or cause, that was more intangible and could develop in different ways, like a..creative company or something. something someone can experience like even just a list of instructions to follow. if i distributed a list with things like, sit in a grassy meadow right before dinner, close your eyes, reach to the sky, and people actually did that…that means every reader would be kind of feeling the same thing. that’s kind of cool right? i havent figured out the merit to that but i’m sure i could make something up about its relevency to the human condition. maybe that would be enough

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