changes. which i will not overthink or reread, just type in one go

well sometimes when you see people every day they don’t seem to change at all because it’s so gradual; physically mostly i guess. with personalities it’s a little more obvious but still doesnt hit you with a sledgehammer. unless it’s properly pondered, which reveals scary actualizations about the state of things but it’s good to keep track of them. my parents seem to be actually getting older which is not supposed to happen. they age at the same rate i do ergo we are supposed to regard each other in the same way forever. instead, they just keep getting stranger, which i can’t find an explanation for besides being on the cusp of menopause (both of them). probably would’ve weirded me out a few months ago but i’ve gotten so apathetic. i dont care for these dynamics in our family unit anymore, i just want to do my own thing and worry about conflicts that i actually have a place and a say in. it’s fascinating we spend years trying to prepare and wondering if we’ll adjust to leaving home and one day when it’s quickly approaching, we wake up so ready. at least for me it was around the first week of february. it is not completely without reason that we consider eighteen the age of adults.

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2 thoughts on “changes. which i will not overthink or reread, just type in one go

  1. It’s hard to describe the gradual aging of adults. It’s as if we alway wanted them to be preserved in one moment of time. When they were concerned about us and we still wanted them to be. It’s a little sad. It’s like the ending of an era.

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