Asian Girl Problem #95: Springtime Reset

“The Marvelous Women” by Mohja Kahf

All women speak two languages:
the language of men
and the language of silent suffering.
Some women speak a third,
the language of queens.
They are marvelous
and they are my friends.
…continued

It’s the first weekend of spring and there’s that restless, expectant buzz in the air. Despite having ended the mildest winter ever, we’re ready to release some pent-up energy, whether real or imagined. Straight men and lesbians rejoice–it’s sundress weather. OKC is blowin’ up. This weekend my peeps are going to shows, celebrating birthdays, and, as always, hoping to get lucky. Just one of those Fridays when I wouldn’t trade being young in the Bay Area for anything.

But I also can’t stop thinking about how people deal with heartbreak, which isn’t a stretch–heartbreak and hedonism often go hand in hand. I’m wondering how to comfort a friend who just lost her virginity to someone who seemed good and kind–for a grand total of three days. How to make myself mean more than a booty call to someone (Answer: let him go). How to convince a friend who goes to bed watching Beyonce videos that it’s scarier to wake up a year from now in the exact same place than go on an awkward date. How to hint to someone that her boyfriend’s dubious behavior is crossing the line.

I want super specific examples on how people cope. My extremely premature findings have shown these to be helpful: pretty sounds, familiar sights, face masks, coffee, going outside as much as possible, saying hi to strangers, doing whatever the fuck you want. The last one is the best, because this is the best time to cultivate spontaneity–you have nothing to lose. If anyone gives you shit about it, blame spring.

2 thoughts on “Asian Girl Problem #95: Springtime Reset

  1. ahh, I wanna be young, more moneyed, and in SF this spring >_< anyway.

    it's hard to tell people things and have them get it.. they need a mirror-= some way to become aware of assholes, going to sleep with youtube on, etc. they need to know these things for themselves. I suggested to one of my friends to write her feelings out.. just 'cause she seemed confused with how she felt in general. also, reading stories with similar situations (nonfic or not) is great too..

    happy spring, beebe! :)

    • writing brings me so much closure/peace! yeah everyone needs to make their own mistakes. i try to learn from others’ but it’s a sorry substitute

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